


More than jewelry

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 4.10 speculation fic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 11:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5455079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my speculation about what might happen in 4x10.</p><p>Oliver tries to deal with what has happened after he proposed to Felicity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More than jewelry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [walkerandbartowski](https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkerandbartowski/gifts).



Oliver stared down at his hands that were covered with blood – blood that had dried on his skin by now. It had made his hands feel so warm when it had dropped onto his skin. But now his hands felt cold, so much colder than they ever had. Even in the coldest nights on Lian Yu his hands hadn’t felt so cold and hadn’t shaken so wildly.

It wasn’t the first time his hands were covered with blood.  
After everything that had happened since the Gambit had sunken, Oliver was almost used to having blood on his skin. At least seeing it there didn’t mess him up that much anymore. It had happened too often by now. He remembered the first time on Lian Yu and he remembered the one time it had been Thea’s blood and so many times in between. He had killed so many people and had lost so many people…

In some way this time was no different. Again he was losing someone he loved.  
And yet everything was different. Because it was _her_ blood on his skin.  
Felicity’s blood.

The noises of the gunshots hitting the limousine from all sides still echoed in his head. He felt almost deafened by it, even now. Hours later. The gunshots had been loud. So unbelievable loud. He had barely been able to hear the panicked sounds Felicity had made when he had pressed her down onto the seats, covering her with his body to shield her from the danger. And he only distantly remembered whispering little words of comfort and reassurance into her ear.

 _Stay down._  
Don’t be scared.  
Everything is going to be alright.  
Don’t worry. I got you.

I got you.  
If he would be able to make any sound or move at all, he would snort about those words now.  
I got you.

Oliver glanced around the waiting area where all of their friends and the little family they had left were standing and sitting around, waiting with him for the doctor to come and tell them that Felicity was okay.  
Or that she was dead.

The bullets had injured her badly. There had been so much blood. The blood was almost everything that Oliver could remember. It had soaked her coat and his clothes. It had dropped onto his skin and the cold ground. It had soaked the medical supplies that had been put to the wounds to stop the bleeding by applying pressure to them. He hadn’t thought about that when he had pulled her unmoving body from the backseat of the limousine to the ground. Maybe she would die just because he hadn’t instantly applied pressure to stop the bleeding. But the blood had come from her mouth, too, and Oliver wouldn’t have been able to stop that bleeding anyway.

The blood that had come from her mouth had been the one the doctors had been worried about the most. Maybe a bullet had been shot through to her lung. That’s what they had said before they had taken her to the OR and had left him waiting here with nothing but little information he had gotten from the doctor. Oliver couldn’t remember any of what the doctor had told him.  
Just like he couldn’t remember so much else that had happened within the last hours.

What he did remember was that he had finally asked Felicity the most important question in the world and how she had answered with ‘yes’ and hence agreed to become his wife. He remembered how happy he had been when he had led her to the limousine and how on the ride to the penthouse he had already envisioned undressing her and worshipping her body for the rest of the night. He remembered how he had pressed Felicity down onto the leathery seats when he had realized that they were being shot at. He remembered thinking that the only chance for them to get out of that limousine alive was if he drove it away, so he had crawled onto the driver’s seat, had pushed the dead driver away and directed the limousine a few blocks away. He remembered how his first thought, when the car had come to a stop, had been Felicity and he had hurried to the backdoor and opened it. He remembered how her body had almost fallen against him as soon as he had opened the door.

And that was when everything started to become blurry. He only remembered fragments of what had happened then. Like pulling her out of the car and seeing all the wounds on her body. He knew that somehow he had managed to get her to the hospital although he had no idea how he had done that. He could still hear that terrible beeping of monitor. It had made the most awful sound he had ever heard when Felicity’s heart had stopped beating. And then somehow he had ended up sitting here, surrounded by friends and family – the same friends and family that had watched him propose to the light of his life and had cheered happily when she had said ‘yes’.

She had said yes.  
She had agreed to share the rest of her life with him.  
Oliver had never imagined that the rest of her life would be that short.  
It should have been decades, not hours.

She couldn’t die.  
Felicity couldn’t die.  
There was still so much he had to tell her. So much he wanted to do with her. He didn’t have a detailed plan for the rest of their life – it was _their life_ now because _their lives_ had become _one_ when she had agreed to marry him – but Oliver wanted the chance to plan it with Felicity. He wanted to discover what possibilities they had and see what they were doing with them. He needed to-

“The doctor.”

At the sound of John’s voice, Oliver almost jumped out of his seat and ran towards the man that was barely older then he himself was and who was holding the most important information for Oliver. His whole life depended on what the tired looking man was going to tell him in the next few seconds.

“Is she alive?” Oliver asked when he was still some feet away from the doctor and didn’t miss how his voice sounded hoarse. “She’s alive, right? She’s not dead. She can’t be-“

“Ms. Smoak is alive.”

Oliver heard all the relieved sighs of his friends and family around him, felt the hand John put on his shoulder and squeezing comfortingly. He felt his sister’s smaller hand stroking up and down his back and Donna’s head resting against his bicep when she whispered, “She is alive.”

But still the relief refused to settle in for Oliver. His heart still felt like it was held in a tight grip, the force around his heart keeping it from beating freely. He had thought that hearing that she was alive would make him feel better, but…

“Her condition is stabilized for, but we still need to- Thank you,” the doctor interrupted himself when a nurse stepped next to him and gave him a small plastic bag that he held out to Oliver. “Your girlfriend’s personal things.”

“Fiancée,” Oliver corrected him shortly, taking the bag with still shaking hands.

He looked down to the few things that were in there, but only one thing caught his attention. Not listening to what the doctor told them, he opened the bag and pulled out the ring he had put onto Felicity’s finger only a few hours ago after keeping it hidden from her for months. He held the ring on his open palm, looking down at it.

Like it held some weird magic, it triggered a memory to play in Oliver’s head like a movie. Images of what had happened earlier this night were appearing flashlight-like in front of his eyes.

He had been sitting on the street with her bleeding, motionless body in his arms. He had still tried to make sense into what had happened without success, when Felicity’s lids had fluttered. Immediately Oliver had tightened his hold on her and had whispered her name “Felicity” like a prayer. And then her eyes had opened, her gaze moving around fiercely to try and orientate herself. So he had whispered her name again, and her eyes had focused on him like his had been focused on hers.  
“Oliver,” she had whispered, gasping for air again and again, “don’t… don’t… don’t let them… don’t let them take my ring.”

The words echoed through his mind now. He had promised her that he wasn’t going to let it happen, that nobody would take the ring away from her.

And yet here he stood in the hallway of the hospital, holding the ring in his hand.  
He had broken his promise. He had failed her.

Blind rage built in his heart and flooded through him.

This had been supposed to be one of the happiest days in his life and he was supposed to be celebrating with Felicity tonight. Instead he had held her bleeding body in his arms helplessly and had been forced to watch her heart stop beating. And he had had to break his promise and had let the one thing she hadn’t wanted to happen to her happen.

And all of this was only because of one man. So Oliver knew what he had to do.

Letting the plastic bag falling to the floor and turning around on his heels, he started walking away. His hand formed to a tight fist around the ring.

“Ollie?”

“Oliver, where are you going?”

“Oliver!”

He ignored Thea’s, John’s and Donna’s voices, walking without stopping or even looking back.

Felicity had almost died tonight. And someone was going to pay for that.

 

 

Felicity felt… weird.

She was lying in an uncomfortable position on her back. And usually she never slept on her back. Most of the times she slept on her side with her legs entangled with Oliver’s, her head resting on his shoulder and her hand put right above his heart. That was how she had slept and woken the last months.

But the position she was lying in wasn’t the only thing that made her feel weird. Her body felt heavy like she weighed a ton. She tried to move, but no matter how much she tried to roll onto her side and seek the warmth of Oliver’s body, she couldn’t. She tried to turn her head, but it more rolled to her side uncontrolled. Something in her face itched, but she couldn’t say what it was. She tried to lift her hand to scratch the tickling skin, but again she found herself unable to move.

“Felicity, baby, everything is alright. You’re okay.”

Okay, it was only getting weirder Felicity thought. The last time her mother had been there when she had woken up had been when she had been twelve and sick or something. Why was her mother here? She knew she was in Starling for Hanukah, but why was she _here_? Oliver had asked her to marry her only yesterday and Felicity was sure that the morning after the engagement was supposed to be just as filled with sex as the night of the engagement. And the last night had been filled with-

Gunshots. Panic. Pain. Blood. Breathlessness. Darkness.

Immediately Felicity’s eyes snapped open. The dazzling light blinded her and made her head hurt like crazy, so she hastily closed her eyes again, keeping the light away, and groaned loudly, but it only made her head hurt more. Slowly her body started to feel less heavy and she moved restless. Her hand moved to get rid of whatever was itching in her face, but a gentle hand caught her fingers before she could do so.

“Pst, baby,” her mother hushed her when Felicity started sobbing at the general discomfort and the cruelty of the memories. “Everything is alright. You’re in the hospital. You’re safe.”

No, no, no. Felicity wasn’t safe. She wasn’t safe. She wasn’t safe as long as she wasn’t with Oliver. She remembered that he had covered her body with his to shield her with his own body. And she remembered that he had climbed off of her to the driver’s seat, but – was he okay? Had he been hurt?

Concentrate, she mentally demanded from herself. What happened after he had climbed off the driver’s seat? What had happened?  
She couldn’t remember. She couldn’t remember what had happened after he had gotten onto the driver’s seat.

Her eyes snapped open again and when the light blinded her this time, Felicity blinked her headache away searching first for Oliver’s and then for her mother’s eyes, when she couldn’t find Oliver’s. Donna looked tired and exhausted and the slight swelling of her eyes was proof that she had cried.

She had cried. Her mother had cried.

Her mother loved Oliver. If he would die, she would definitely cry.

“Where is he?” she asked with quiet and yet panicked voice. She felt warm tears streaming down her face. “Mom, where is he?”

“We don’t know, hon,” Donna whispered, tears forming in her eyes too. “But don’t worry. He is okay.”

“No!” Felicity sobbed. “No, I-“

She had started shaking her head, letting it roll from one side to the other and back again. And at some point her eyes had caught sight of her left hand, a pretty naked left hand. The ring was missing. That couldn’t be. She had asked him to not let it be taken, she remembered now. So if it was missing, it could only mean that he hadn’t been there to-

“Felicity,” John said with what was probably meant to be a calming tone. He stepped to her left side and put a hand to her shoulder, trying to stop her panicked movements. “Felicity, Oliver isn’t injured. He took you to the hospital and stayed, but it was just too much for him and he left when-“

He left. Of course he left. Oliver couldn’t deal with loss and he always blamed himself and he was probably blaming himself for this and thinking that he should better protect her from the pain and the danger in his life-

“Felicity, it’s okay,” John tried to calm her down again. “Laurel and Thea are already out looking for him. It is okay. He is okay. He will be back. He-“

Only when John took hold of her wrists, Felicity realized that she was moving wildly, hitting and kicking around. Screams of panic and frustration and other feelings she couldn’t name right now were filling the room.

She needed to get out of here! She needed to find Oliver and tell him-

“Let me go!” she screamed at John when he was only holding her more tightly, keeping her in the bed.

“Baby,” Donna whispered with a quiet sob, putting her hand to her daughter’s hair.

But Felicity couldn’t calm down. She didn’t want to be held to the bed by John and she didn’t want to be patted by her mother.

Felicity wanted Oliver. He should be here. He had to be here.

When she saw the nurse enter the room, Felicity’s movements only became wilder and more panicked, especially when she saw the syringe in the young woman’s hand. She knew what was about to come. She tried to move even more strongly, but the more she struggle against John’s hold, the more tightly he held her.

Crying, she watched the nurse injecting the drug via the intravenous access on her hand. And it only took seconds before Felicity felt the drug working its effects on her. Her movements became weaker until her body refused to work at all and she fell into the pillows powerlessly. Her eyes closed, partly because of how heavy her lids suddenly felt, partly because she was crying so much.

She didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to see Oliver and talk to him. The more time he spent obsessing about this being his fault, the harder it would get to convince him otherwise. She needed to-

She needed to-

The thought got lost when the effects of the drugs increased and her mind went blank.

She barely heard her mother whisper, “Everything is going to be alright, hon.”

Then everything went dark.

 

 

He should have been there when she had woken up, Oliver thought, playing with the fingers of her left hand and watching her relaxed face.  
One more thing to regret about tonight.  
First he had let them take her ring and then he had left her instead of being there and comforting her when she had woken up.

Not even twenty-four hours into the engagement and he had failed her twice already.

Oliver put her warm hand to his cheek and snuggled into the touch, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her skin. When he focused on it, he could feel her pulse beating against his chin and he enjoyed the feeling as slight as it was. It was a sign that she was alive and she was here. He hadn’t lost her.

After he had left the hospital, he had gone to their new hide-out where he had put on the Green Arrow suit and hit the streets, looking for some of Darhk’s ghosts who could tell him where he could find Darhk. Of course none of his little minions had told him anything which had only made him madder than he had been already. He had even broken his code of not ever killing again.

He had just been… so out of himself.

In some ways he still was.

When he had first seen her bleeding body and had waited all this time in the hallways of the hospital, he had been confused and lost. He hadn’t understood what had happened. His mind and his heart had been unable to process what had happened. And still there had already been the desperation and sadness, thinking that he would lose her. And finally there had been the rage of having failed her.

There were angry red masks at the palm of his right hand that had held the ring so tightly that the diamond had cut his skin. But he didn’t care. What Oliver cared about was that he had let his rage take control over him and his actions and that had let to him leaving her. And he hadn’t been there when she had woken up, confused and in panic. And without her ring.

Oliver let his hand move over hers on his cheek, sighing contently when he felt the diamond ring under the palm of his hand. He had put it back to her finger where it belonged as soon as he had gotten here. And he had gotten here as soon as he had listened to all the messages on his voice mailbox.

 _Ollie? Where are you? Come on, you need to come back. Felicity is okay and… I’m worried about you. Please don’t do anything stupid. Just… call me and tell me where you are, so I can come and talk to you._ – That had been Thea and there had been at least eight messages from her.

 _We are all getting worried here, Oliver. Nobody knows where you are and we all do stupid things when we are in pain. I… Thea is really worried. We’ll start looking for you now. Please just call anyone of us to let us know that you’re okay. Felicity’s condition is getting better with every passing hour. The doctor said she might wake up soon. You should be here when she does. I am sure she wants to see you. And like I told you before, Felicity knew what she was getting herself into. We all did. This isn’t your fault. Just… Just go to the hospital and be there. –_ Three missed calls from Laurel.

 _Oliver, man, where are you? Thea and Laurel have been searching for you the last two hours and tried find you. Felicity woke up. She… panicked when you weren’t there. Donna and I tried to calm her down, but she would have needed you. The nurse had to sedate her to keep her from hurting herself. Look, I know that you are in pain and that all of this scared the hell out of you, but you have to be here, Oliver. It’s Felicity._ – John.

 _Oliver Jonas Queen, move your pretty ass back here right now or otherwise I will put you over my knee and spank you. And not in the good, sexy way like I imagine you doing to my daughter! … That is nothing that I want to think about actually, but I swear to God I will beat the crap out of you if you aren’t here when she wakes up the next time._ – Donna’s call had been the one that had really gotten him to move. He had even smiled slightly because Donna’s call had reminded him so much of Felicity. It had been like Felicity calling him and demanding from him to get his head out of his ass like she always said.

So he had come back here, had apologized to Donna for just leaving and let her hug him tightly and tell him that it was okay because he had come back and that was all that mattered. He had taken the seat right next to her bed and slid the ring back onto her finger and since then he was waiting for her to wake up again, so he could reassure her that he was okay and he hadn’t left her.

Oliver opened his eyes and took a short look around the room. He was alone with her now. Thea was working with Alex on keeping the media in check. Laurel and Dig were in the lair, even if they had only left after Oliver had assured them that he was going to call as soon as Felicity had woken up again and was ready to receive more visitors. Five minutes ago Quentin had managed to drag Donna out of this room and into the cafeteria to get her some coffee.

Oliver was glad he had some time alone with Felicity. He-

As soon as he caught the fluttering of her eyelids, he moved. Getting out of the seat, Oliver put her hand he still held on his cheek to his heart instead and sat down at the edge of the mattress, leaning over her. His free hand moved to her cheek, caressing it gently like he did when he had to wake her up on a normal morning.

“Felicity,” he whispered lowly and wasn’t surprised that his voice almost broke at the last syllable. He felt a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes. He pulled himself together and took a deep breath, repeating her name, “Felicity.”

He could see her eyes moving behind the closed lids. Her tongue moved out to wet her lips and a frown formed on her forehead. She looked uncomfortable and immediately Oliver shot a glance to the little remote and the button to call one of the nurses. Maybe she needed something for the pain.

But before he was able to move, Felicity snuggled into his touch, sighed lowly and a slight smile formed on her skin. Oliver felt his heart ease a little, a feeling that had missed settling in the entire night. He should have known that this had been what he had needed. Seeing Felicity smile had always been like some kind of medicine to him.

When she opened her eyes, she breathed a quiet, “Hey.”

Oliver attempted to smile at her, but tears blurred his sight and with a sob, he let his head sink to her chest, resting it there, so he could listen to the beat of her heart. Felicity’s free hand, the one he wasn’t holding to his heart, started combing through his short hair comfortingly.

He had been so close to losing her. Not much had been missing and she would have died in his arms. He would be in the morgue now, pressing his head to her chest like he did now only that he wouldn’t hear her heart beating.

“It’s okay,” Felicity whispered. “I’m okay.”

Oliver smiled weakly, his sobs becoming lower, his breaths evening out.

Earlier this year, when he had returned from Nanda Parbat and she had hugged him tightly, he had said the same words to reassure her that he was okay after she had believed that he had died. He knew it wasn’t a coincident that she used the same words now. Taking in a deep breath, he lifted his head from her heart.

He lifted his hand, the one that had held Felicity’s hand to his heart before, to wipe the tears away, but Felicity’s fingers were already there, drying his cheeks, so he put his hand on hers and snuggled into the touch, mirroring her. He took in another deep breath, before he opened his eyes and finally managed a weak smile.

“Hey,” he whispered, but it was barely audible.

Still Felicity smiled slightly. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, his thumb moving over her cheekbone, caressing her soft skin. “Any pain?”

“Tired,” she said, her head rolling a little to the side, snuggling more into his touch again. “Headache. And my side hurts.”

Oliver nodded, remembering too well where the bullet had hit her.

“I’ll call the nurse and-“

“No,” Felicity interrupted him, catching his hand midair. “I don’t- I don’t want to go back to sleep just yet. I want to talk to you.”

Again Oliver nodded. “Okay.”

When Felicity pulled her hand back, she lowered her gaze to her fingers, smiling.

“It’s back.”

She didn’t have to say what was back for him to know what she was talking about. He lowered both of his hands to her lap, holding her tiny hands in his there. Just like she did, he looked down to that ring.

They lifted their gazes towards one another at the same time, both of them smiling. Oliver leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers gently, taking care that he didn’t bother the tube under her nose when he nuzzled her nose like he had done when they had been in the limo and she had told him that she didn’t care about the bling.

_All I care about is you._

“I am sorry I let them take the ring,” Oliver explained when he leaned back, swiping his thumb over the diamond on her finger. “And I am sorry for not being here when you woke up the first time. I was…”

He shook his head at the lack of words and he lowered his gaze to their entangled hands guiltily. He shouldn’t have left. He should have been there. She must have been so scared, especially since he had a long history of running away when people he loved got hurt or killed.

Felicity put her hand under his chin and lifted his head, forcing him to look at her. She smiled at him gently.

“It’s okay,” she assured him. “It’s wasn’t fair to ask you to not let them take the ring…I was just scared that you would… you know… leave… again. Like you did after our dinner got blown up.”

“I know,” Oliver replied quietly. “But I didn’t plan on leaving you. I swear to God, Felicity, I was planning on coming back the entire time. I just needed to get this… rage… out of me and-“

“It’s okay,” Felicity interrupted him, squeezing his hands comfortingly. “You’re here now. I’m fine. It was just that… I woke up and the ring was missing and… I know it sounds stupid because I had the ring for only like… twenty minutes before Darhk started shooting at us, but… this ring… It’s more than just jewelry. It is… The ring is… I don’t know how to explain it, but...”

“The ring is a symbol for the decision we made, the decision to spend the rest of our lives together,” Oliver explained for her. “Of course it is more than just jewelry. It’s a sign that we love each other and that we will continue to love each other for the rest of our lives and that no matter what happens, neither of us will leave. So when the ring wasn’t there, and I wasn’t there, it must have felt like I broke that promise. And I am sorry it looked like that and I promise you that I will never ever leave you.”

Felicity looked at him for a long time, not saying a word. The expression in her face was unreadable, even for him.

“That was a lot of talking for you,” she said then.

Oliver chuckled and Felicity joined in, but only two seconds after she hissed and her face screwed up in pain. Hastily Oliver pushed the button to call the nurse and stroked his hands gently over Felicity’s hair, wishing he could take the pain away.

“I don’t want to sleep again,” Felicity told Oliver through clenched teeth. “I want to keep talking to you.”

“I’ll just give you some pain killers, no soporifics,” the nurse told her while she was already injecting the medicament via the IV access in Felicity’s hand. “It might make you a little bit sleepy, though.”

Felicity groaned, but Oliver squeezed her hands comfortingly, smiling at her shortly. He looked back at the nurse, though, asking, “When is the doctor going to come and check on her?”

“He is in surgery right now, but Ms. Smoak is the first on the list to be checked as soon as the surgery is finished,” the nurse told him. “If you need anything, just ring the bell.”

Oliver nodded. “Thank you.”

When the nurse left, Oliver looked back at Felicity. Her eyes were a little unfocussed and he put his hand to her cheek, letting his knuckles gently caress her skin.

“Close your eyes, Felicity,” he suggested quietly. “You should go back to sleep some more.”

“Don’t want to,” she said, her voice sounding weirdly melodious like she was singing.

Oliver bit his tongue. He remembered very well how Felicity reacted to pain killers. The little conversation he had had with her after she had taken Diggle’s special Aspirins was still making him smile whenever he thought about it. She had told him that she was his girl back then.

“Oliver?” she asked.

Her eyes were even more unfocused now. He wondered for the first time today how much of him she had seen even before the drugs since she didn’t wear her glasses. They had been in the plastic bag he had let fallen to the floor when he had left the hospital last night. He would ask Donna where her glasses were later and make sure they were replaced in case he had accidently broken them by letting them fall.

“Yes, Felicity?” he replied.

“We didn’t have engagement sex.”

“We will as soon as you are feeling better,” he promised.

“Feeling better already.”

“You’re still in the hospital.”

“My mom always wanted to have hospital sex.”

Oliver frowned, not exactly sure what he should take from that sentence.

“No hospital sex until you are feeling better.”

“Scared of getting caught?” she asked. Her voice slurred so much now that he barely understood what she said, but he knew her well enough to know what she was saying.

“I just want to take my time when I am making love to you the next time,” Oliver replied with an amused grin.

Felicity only snorted. Her eyelids were fluttering wildly now. She was barely able to keep her eyes open for longer than two seconds.

“Close your eyes, Felicity,” Oliver advised her softly, but she shook her head, smiling at him tiredly.

So Oliver leaned forward, brushing his lips over hers while watching her face. Her eyes stayed open for a heartbeat longer, but the moment he pressed his lips to hers a little bit more firmly, her eyes fell shut. So Oliver closed his eyes, too, letting his lips linger on hers until he felt her breathing evening out as it ghosted over his face. Only then he pulled back slightly, watching her relaxed face.

“Sleep safe, Felicity,” he whispered. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He stayed where he sat on the mattress, watching her.

She was alive. She was alright. They were okay.

Everything was going to be alright.

It would just take some time for the realization to really settle in.


End file.
